i havent been much of a fan for exposing whats going on my mind, but i think writing it out helps. if not much, a little. even if there is no one reading what you are writing.

previously

well before this i do get a number of viewership. but i feel sorry for them. this is mainly because they are reading what i type. after rereading my posts, sometimes i think i dont even make sense. im typing as if im talking, which makes it harder to understand. or easier? well i’m just happy i’m at the typing side.

are you sick?

er, medically yeah. but i think its because of the workload and the weather. well always someone to blame. maybe its just me? that i cant stand what i am doing right now. or im just a plain lazy bum who likes to sit infront of his pc and enjoy his mmos. oh that sounds lovely.

where are you going with this?

well, after a year doing what i am doing now, im not sure if im at the right place. sure i do enjoy doing it. but im not even sure im doing it right? well thats so much of doing. doing things right at the right place with the right attitude.

reviving passion
is it a lost cause? or do i need to find myself again? i feel like im this 18 yld trying to decide what to do next. can i find the courage and energy to keep going and doing this for the next few years. its a battle within myself atm.

or rethinking future.
rethinking future, is restart. so you wanna restart? maybe at certain points. with the condition i am in right now, i just want to eat ice creams. i cant keep my head straight just to think.

what lies ahead?
im not even sure. but one thing for sure. whats best for me right now is take a chill pill, lay your head to rest, close your eyes, and hoped that when you wake up, it will all just be a dream. haha. no no. when you wake up, everything will be fine again?

pft.